Home Alone, Room Alone.

So here I am.

With one cup of full cream milk, two burgers, and three tomatoes to be eat.

I sit alone.

In a room. In a house.

Companied by the sounds of an old fan and the sound of the PC operating.

By living in college, I used to eat all by myself. 

Even being in a home, I still have to eat by myself.

It's okay.

Being like this seems like a routine for me anyway.

If somebody saw me eating out alone in a cafe,

They would ask, "don't you have friend to eat together"?

There's nothing I could say but smiling.

Because,

It's not that I don't have friends to eat together.

It's not that I don't have family to eat with.

Also,

It's not that I don't want to,

It's just this is how I used to.

Suddenly, 

I heared a "meoww" sound from a corner. 

Approaching me. 

Made me realized that I am not that alone :)

wHOLIburdenDAYS of Break

Today is the last day for the mid-semester of 2012-2013 session in UKM.

We are going to have a week of "wHOLIburdenDAYS" which means a whole full of burden holidays. 

흐 흐 흐 ..

I should not take it as 'burden' actually, because its the job, the job of being a student.

But I feel like it is. I am sorry.

Usually, some students would think that the mid-semester break is the time have some rest,

to have some gap to start anew with something. 

They would spend all the holidays with something that they really wanted to do,

with someone that they really want to be with.

Because I used to be one of the students I knew the feeling of real holidays and I love it.

Since now I am in the last year of my studies, I guess the feeling of having holidays like that is a no no. I am sure for those who are in the same boat as me would feel like that too. For us, this is the one of the most crucial part of the life.

Having a list of lots assignments to do.

Revising for mid-semester examinations is a must.

Plus,

Analyzing the works of the THESIS which takes a lot of credits in the courses list is the most critical one, because this is an individually project that we have to publish, as the course is one of the compulsory majors we need to score to graduate with good pointer. 

It takes a lot more of effort than before because you have to stand a lot more on your own.

Now, my holidays are full of thought of it.

Nevertheless, its better than not having 'holidays' at all. That at least I have some more space to rearrange everything that messed.

Alhamdulillah, thankfully to Allah for everything. 

May Allah ease everything for us.

InsyaALLAH.

Strength

[Remembrance of those hard times]

Yours left, I mean ours left. He was long gone even by the times we laughed together.

Mines left too, of course, when he want to.

I did not tell, but I guess you saw in me.

You saw me weak..

During those times, there's no other strength I have but you, Mother.
I may feel alone somehow, but let all the good memories company me.
I may look weak sometimes, but inside I want to have those strengths like yours.
I might be not perfect, but all I want to do is the best for all.

Yes, somehow I have been falling and giving up.
But I will never forget to crawl back slowly, then walk and run again.

You do not tell but I know, I see it.
I have to be your strength too.

For you Mother, and I hope it can be for everyone too.
I LOVE YOU.

To Live

To Live,
She Would

But For Me,
I Need To

EAT . PRAY . LEARN . DREAM and LOVE 

Complete.

Assalamualaikum

Fixing Heart

Trying to fix my heart, it needed to be repair. 

Sewing the torns, gluing the broken part, painting what has darken, wiping the wet by 'rain' (tears) , and make it strong again. 

Picture: Copy Paste.

ATTENTION!

Works of cleaning, patching, repairing, and strengthens of the heart is in progress.

Difficulty of now is for the comfort and pleasure of the future. 

SAFETY FIRST.

Fixing it is still hurts somehow, because of the needle sewing through every inches of heart, and the painting roller is rolling the whole heart. 

I don't know why is heart so fragile.. But I am proud of mine, because no matter how hard the broken is, IT still works somehow.

And I'll love who and what I suppose to love n matter what.

"A PLACE IN THIS WORLD"

I don't know what I want, so don't ask me

Cause I'm still trying to figure it out

Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking

Trying to see through the rain coming down

Even though I'm not the only one

Who feels the way I do

I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know

I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on

I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in

This world

Got the radio on, my old blue jeans

And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve

Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine

Could you tell me what more do I need

And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah

But that's ok

Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission

But I'm ready to fly

Assalamualaikum, heheheh Just so you know, I love TAYLOR SWIFT'S songs so much ever since the first time I heard her songs. and now I am so much attached to this song "A PLACE IN THIS WORLD" cause it just so  true for ALL growing up teenage girls in finding the way of her life, of where she was and will belong to..

Err and yeahh I AM STILL A TEENAGER  oke! hehehe so don't ask me what I wanted cause what I know is I WANNA BE THE BEST  and I REALLY WANNA BE ANYTHING THAT IS TRUE. REAL ME, FOR EVERYONE.. 

 There are some words I wanna share with you:

I just found these words. Inspiring me somehow. You should to :)

Okey babai semuaaa  :) GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR LIFE YEA!
May Allah bless you ..

Who and Why

Assalamualaikum all  :)

I have created this account of blogspot quite a long time ago in 2010, but I was hesitated to write things in this 'thing' because I just don't know how to start, and do I have to? But now I have some reason why I need to write. Just to express more of myself.

Who Is Me?

• I am just an ORDINARY GROWING UP  GIRL doing ordinary things as a Full Time Student
• I am NO RICH girl and living with WARM AVERAGE FAMILY.
• I have SMALL SKINNY BODY, NO BEUTIFUL WHITE SKIN, and NOT THAT TALL either ;p
• I have NOT MUCH THING TO DO and I AM A VERY LAAZY PERSON!
• I DON'T HAVE TOO MUCH CONFIDENT in myself and this is suck yeahh!
• I am NOT GLAMOUR and NOT FAMOUS though, wiwit wiwit, huu.
• I am VERY SIMPLE in doing things and SO BORING PERSON, dhaaa =.=''
• I LOVE MORE TO BE OBSEVER than to be observe by others. Shy shy  ;p

Look at the way I'm describing MYSELF : 

 It just something is wrong with me right now, that I feel I'm so lost of myself. I used to be a STRONG person and a POSITIVE THINKER. Before, I don't think it too much when it comes to bad things, cause I know I'll be strong facing it. I used to be so bright with  SMILES and STRONG HEARTED person I USED TO LOVE DOING DIFFERENT THINGS IN LIFE but now, I've wasted my time just on my bed bed bed! No!

I'm on my way to find MY-LOST-SELF and I wanna be HAPPY BEING ME AGAIN. JUST ME!! 

This is Why I'm writing a blog.

 You know, lately there are just too much thoughts that I have in my mind and don't know why, they keep my heart beating fast, it just can't be describe somehow. BUT I wanna write something! I wanna write anything, I wanna write everything! It's just so hard to express these feeling into words though, but this is the only way so that I'll remember those feeling.

  Even though I have so much weaknesses and am not that special ,

I KNOW I STILL HAVE STORY TO TELLS 

and 

I HAVE TOO MUCH THINGS LEFT TO DO 

and 

I CAN BE INTERESTING TOO

That's all  :)